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Some Christian phrases that will help you "woo" the lesser sex are, "I'm almost as crazy about you as I am about Jesus," "Your long hair is the glory of your humility (I Corinthians 11: 11-15)," and "God broke the mold when he made your sweet face."Make certain that there is no personal contact (PC) on this first date.

Even if she has said "yes" to marriage, it is highly recommended that you refrain from even holding hands for at least two years until the courtship is over and you are whisked away on your honeymoon!

It is always handy to have the engagement ring available.

When you are on the date, use awkward moments of silence to quote scripture, or sing a favorite hymn. If she is not woo'd by this, it is a sign that she might be possessed by a demon.

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Take her to your church and drop her off by the back gate with a note to the pastor taped to her forehead.

Be sure to secure her to a tree or post using chains or rope so that she won't get away during the night. The only Christian cologne available is "Betty Bowers' The Essence Of Christian Men." If you do not have any Christian cologne, rub your face in a Bible until you smell like the pages.

If she is the right gal, you will want to pop the question as soon as possible.Head lice are very common among Christian men, especially Pentecostals.Although it is a normal and natural blessing from God to have head lice, you should certainly wash your hair before your date if only for the reason to avoid the temptation of putting your arm around the young lady while lifting to scratch your head.Spend the day before your date with at least 6-hours of solitary prayer in a prayer-closet or a confined area. Ask Jesus to help you control your lust and pray that you will have a nightly emission before the date, thus making it easier for your carnal mind to operate on a level that is strictly spiritual.Do not masturbate in your prayer-closet unless you are thinking about Jesus.

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