Dating lines decoded
Without it, I will not be able to properly learn and grow from this hurt I currently feel. Where I don’t hold a grudge but neither am I easily taken advantage of again, so that I’m neither a hardened love skeptic nor a doormat.
I’m going through a rough breakup where my ex has now moved on to a new girl (which he did so in a shitty way – lots of lies and betrayal involved). Your article eloquently portrays that balanced view.
How could someone pet you who had the capacity to kick the sh*t out of you? The proverbial puppy kicker notices that you ducked.
And whether it’s out of disconnected remorse, selfish embarrassment, seeing their own reflection, or finally being face-to-face with the pain they caused and what a beautiful thing they messed up… They go into this whole thing about how you ducking has caused them so much pain.
Although they claim to understand why you have to duck, they can’t help but express how it hurts them and how there’s not a day that goes by that they don’t think about what they did blah, blah, BLAH.
Let’s say I hurt you and instead of apologizing, I keep telling you how much pain I’m in every day for hurting you and how not a minute goes by where I’m not regretting it.
I didn’t know how to apologize for the compounded shame, guilt, embarrassment, and fear that my avoidance had bred. She was in her nineties – no children of her own and completely undefended, defenseless, and in need of a connection.
The result of truly forgiving is newly ADJUSTED BOUNDARIES that are ACTED on.
Show others through your dignified actions that you RESPECT to behave the way they did by removing yourself from their dysfunctional, amateur hour drama and using it to propel you out of your own.
Honesty is the greatest gift you could ever give to others and yourself. It disallows agendas, dramas, and the ability to mask your truth.
Honesty may be painful, disagreed with, and disliked, but it will always be respected.