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All the time I’m running into guys who tell me things like “I’m 36, but I look 30, so I tell women I’m 29.” Less often, though still regularly, I see guys in their 30s and even 40s who try to dress, act, and talk like men in their 20s.

Women “self-objectify” in profile pictures to get men interested, renouncing the “wrong idea” that they might want something more than a one-night stand.

But I’ve noticed a new strategy among my set of female friends—lovely, intelligent, independent women—to combat the grime of the online dating world: date up. More and more women I know are dating men twice, yes , Anne Hathaway stands with Robert De Niro and a bunch of young male colleagues in a bar and draws a harsh comparison: “How in one generation have men gone from guys like Jack Nicholson and Harrison Ford to . I see what Hathaway means: Why put up with Tinder when there’s a whole generation of men out there who wouldn’t dream of using it?

There have never been more advantages to relationships with older men, precisely because Tinder and its ilk have made dating feel impossible to those of us who don’t want to participate in the battle of who-cares-less.

No matter which way you spin it, landing yourself in a committed relationship seems to be, by millennial standards, “the wrong idea.” I want to believe that selected only their most salacious interviewees to quote, but I know that’s not true.

I’ve received my fair share of lewd attention during my online dating tenure to verify: It really is that bad. ” She gestures despairingly at the four men in front of her, archetypes of my generation in their hoodies, craft beer in one hand, i Phone in the other, with their untrimmed beards and general lack of ambition.

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